MPR - A Special Report

This Special Edition of MPR is brought to you from Bloomington, Minnesota.  While visiting family in the Minneapolis area, Maggie reached the zenith of her playground reviewing life.  Throughout the last few months, we have visited playgrounds in nearly 15 states, each containing some combination of slides, ladders, swings, rocking animals, merry-go-rounds, and other thrill generating items.  But never in her 3.83 years on this planet had Maggie seen anything like the Nickelodeon Universe theme park at the Mall of America.

For those of you who have recently arrived to this planet from outer space,  you may not know that Minnesota is famous for, of all things, a shopping mall.  Yes, a sad but true association.  You want retail?  Get a charter to MSP and a ten minute cab ride will put you out of, or into, your misery.  However, know this. This is no mere run of the mill, basic, department stores on the corners, Gaps in the middle sort of mall.  This is the Mother of All Malls, The Mall of America.  This place is 4.2 MILLION square feet or retail heaven, or hell, depending on your perspective.    It is so big, I think Delaware hid Rhode Island here last year and no one has found it yet.  Seriously, look for next year's flags to have only 49 stars and a dollar sign on it.  

Spread out across the MOA's four floor, vertigo inspiring square design is every imaginable thing a human being may want to purchase . . . with the exception of decent fly fishing equipment.  That major detraction aside, it does have a huge attraction if you are an almost four year old who has spent too much time in the car: it has an indoor amusement park.

Now, we aren't just talking a ride here, ride there, local town Fourth of July traveling show kind of amusement park with some swings, a carousel, and the Spider ride.  No, we are talking about four story roller coasters, log flumes, bumper cars, blenders, big drops, and four story spinning surfboards, all with Sponge Bob running around too.  In short, it was kid nirvana.

When asked, after nearly seven (yes, you read that right) hours of running, eating, riding, singing, screaming, and getting her ears pierced, what this park rated out of five stars, Maggie said something like: "I don't know, like 27 stars or something!"  Please note dear reader that the "like" part of that quote is direct language from Margaret.  You see, it appears that our 3.83 year old little girl must have somehow come across a few abandoned episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 because she now officially speaks valley girl.  To a father whose occupation tends to demand precision of language, this sounds similar to a constant grating of one's nails on the proverbial chalkboard (not the 3.83 year olds know what a chalkboard is).

Verbal cheese graters aside, we did have a fantastic day with my Sister and her 4 children, who along with Maggie, turned the Nickelodeon Universe upside down.  For a guy who doesn't like to shop (unless for the aforementioned fishing gear), I do have to admit, we had more fun in that mall than any 8 people should have.  Lisa, my Sister, and I were even able to hit some of the big rides, which are tremendously fun.  There is even a roller coaster, the SpongeBob Square Pants Rock Bottom plunge, which sports a 68 foot first hill that drops down at 97 degrees!  That was a blast.

So, without further ado, some photos from this special edition of MPR.