National Bosses Day

Since I am thankfully not, at the present time, intimately involved in the vacuum formerly known as the American economy (with the exception of making an unhealthy contribution to Exxon, Chevron, Shell, and BP), I was not aware of the passing of that most precious of holidays: Bosses Day.

I was only made aware of this monumental passing by a truly kind woman working in the flower department at the Bend, Oregon Safeway.  As we were pacing around the pharmacy department waiting to get our flu shots, this woman, resplendent in her Safeway embroidered golf shirt, black Safeway apron, regulation black slacks, and sensible black shoes came up to us and asked: “can she have a balloon?”

Being the truly cruel parents that we are, we had just denied Maggie a helium balloon, not wanting to go through another two weeks of running into that crinkly floating chunk of mylar in every corner of Francine.  Despite grasping tightly to the new box of Barbie Band-Aids we were going to let her get (in anticipation of needing them to calm her after the flu-shot experience), she was pretty grumpy about the no-balloon situation.  She has always loved balloons.  

Needless to say, in Maggie’s eyes, the Safeway woman was an angel from heaven.  An angel bearing a bouquet of balloons for bosses.  Maggie settled on a beautiful light blue number which said: “You’re a Great Boss!”  The Safeway Angel informed us that since Bosses Day had recently passed, her boss had instructed her to throw away all the pre-inflated, un-purchased Bosses Day Balloons.  However, rather than just toss them in the trash, this lovely women came to the conclusion that she would just give them away to all the little kids in the store that day.  As she put it: “this is much more fun than just throwing them away.”  How true.

Not only did this gift make Maggie’s day, it illustrated the insanity of having a holiday honoring bosses.  On this one day, the boss just wanted to be rid of the old stock of balloons, while the employee saw an opportunity to spread joy to young kids, all the while creating thankful paying parents/customers.  Who was the leader in that situation?

I have always wondered who the narcissist was who created Bosses Day.  I suppose it is conceivable that it was created by some incredibly thankful staff member who had the best job in the entire world, but I doubt it.  More likely it was created by some advertising executive, or that mysterious Hallmark marketing genius who men like to blame for the proliferation of inane holidays in which cards, flowers, or gifts “must” be purchased.  Do we really need a day celebrating Bosses Day?  Isn’t absolutely every day Bosses Day?  On which day does the average American employee, who isn’t the boss, go to work with an agenda other than performing his or her tasks in accordance with the boss’s general wishes?

When I was in my first year of private practice, my legal assistant came into my office and asked me what I wanted for Bosses Day.  It turned out that all the staff would make treats for the attorneys they worked for and the whole office would have a little celebration.  Completely embarrassed, I asked suggested that nothing would be appropriate, given how much she did to keep me organized and productive on a daily basis.  Despite my plea, she assured me that this was not an option and the “holiday” went on as planned.

As we walked out into the bright sunshine on a beautiful fall day, I was again thankful (for the countless time) that for a while I didn’t have a boss, didn’t have any staff, and was free to travel this great country with my family.  Then, I looked over at Maggie, who was clutching tightly to her “You’re a Great Boss” balloon while asking for this, wanting to go there, and expecting us to provide her what she wanted.  Lisa and I looked at each other with a smile and realized that maybe the balloon’s message was more accurate than we thought.  Maybe we do have a 40 inch, 35 pound boss.  She is just really cute, funny, and a joy to go to work for every day.